I have some other chores to do right now, but I don't want to postpone
indefinitely what little I have done with your brochure. The brochure is
informative and visually appealing. My wordsmithing is mainly aimed at
streamlining it a little.
Here are some minor suggested revisions of your text:
* *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Regarding the header,
"High Quality
Educational
Software
Alternatives"
I would consider deleting "Alternatives" and maybe (just maybe)
inserting "Affordable" or "Low Cost" between "High Quality" and
"Educational." Purchase cost is not always the major criterion of a wise
decision, since usability, time invested in learning, and other issues are
also relevant "cost" factors. In light of that, "Intelligent Alternative" might
be suitable for the header.
Following are two revised segments of text:
Tux4Kids is an international organization of volunteers dedicated
to producing and promoting quality educational software under certified
Open Source Initiative* licenses (see definition below).
Tux4Kids makes software available for Linux, Windows, Mac OS X and
other operating systems. A growing number of schools is already using these
applications.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*
I hope to do more with this very soon, but my other chores
await.
Lee Welter
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 12:23 AM
Subject: [vox-outreach] Draft brochure for Tux4Kids
